The views and opinions expressed in O'Keefe's Briefs(tm) are not necessarily those of The Management. In fact, they are very likely not even the views and opinions of the writer, the typeface designer, god or the President of the United States. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who shares the extraordinary worldview expressed below, and should you, run. Far and fast. The Management would also like to point out that any references or similarities to any persons living, dead, or undead are entirely coincidental since we all know there are no such things as zombies anyhow.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

NeoLog CE2010.01.23

Welcome to the first of what I hope will be an ongoing series of posts: NeoLogs. As I am sure you are aware, English is a living language. This means that its usage, vocabulary, syntax, etc. are changing everyday. Every year the OED adds several new words to the dictionary, making them 'official.' I for one would rather not wait for a bunch of dusty old British academics to finally decide on a word's ubiquity of use and understanding. Language's primary purpose is after all, to facilitate communication. And thanks to the pervasive MTV/video-game induced ADD of current (and what I can only assume future) generations, the quicker we can absorb new terms and jargon into our vocabulary the better. (You just read that sentence right? You understand it as I intended, correct? It is a mess grammatically speaking according to what we were taught in school. First of all it begins with a conjunction. And more importantly I used 'quicker' instead of the cumbersome yet correct 'more quickly.' There are likely a plethora of additional ways in which I have butchered the English language on this blog that I haven't even noticed. You catch my drift.)

In this series I will proffer new words and/or phrases I think will 'make it' in the future. This is why I chose to name the series NeoLog. It's short for neologism, a fancy word meaning 'new word.' I shortened it and messed with the capitalization because I thought it looked more futurey (of or possessing the quality of a futuristic nature). And there you go our first NeoLog! Joy. I wasn't even intending that. You see? That's how quickly the future happens. Let's see how long it takes those OED guys to catch up to that one.

Also I have written the date in a format which I hope will be used in the future. (See? It's also futurey.)

Since we all love the internet (Biblically speaking) I offer you the first official NeoLog: Web-rash.

Web-rash (n) - the first known and documented STD of the internet. Web-rash is the tenderness and/or chafing of the naughty bits and neighboring regions caused by excessive over-consumption of adult-oriented material on the internet. "Sorry, honey, not tonight. You were gone all weekend and I was off today, and well, I seem to have a touch of the web-rash. I tried putting lotion on it, but that only made it worse."