The views and opinions expressed in O'Keefe's Briefs(tm) are not necessarily those of The Management. In fact, they are very likely not even the views and opinions of the writer, the typeface designer, god or the President of the United States. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who shares the extraordinary worldview expressed below, and should you, run. Far and fast. The Management would also like to point out that any references or similarities to any persons living, dead, or undead are entirely coincidental since we all know there are no such things as zombies anyhow.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Your 2010 Kwahanzaakahmas Calendar

There's just over three weeks until the beginning of Kwahanzaakahmas, so to help you plan your festivities, here's this year's calendar.

Monday, December 20 - Twenny

Tuesday, December 21 - Yule

Wednesday, December 22 - The Feast of the Immaculate Concession

Thursday, December 23 - Festivus

Friday, December 24 - Christmas Eve

Saturday, December 25 - Christmas

Sunday, December 26 - Boxing Day

Monday, December 27 - Feast of San Dimas

Tuesday, December 28 - Langeaufwiedersehenssagennacht

Wednesday, December 29 - Ante Penultima Nocta

Thursday, December 30 - Hogmanay Eve

Friday, December 31 - New Year's Eve

I moved Langeaufwiedersehenssagennacht later in the calendar this year, since 10 days seemed a bit too long to say goodbye. No one likes to drag those things out; better to end it quickly like taking off a bandage. Well, relatively quickly. After all I believe it was Boyz II Men who taught us the valuable lesson that It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.

Your match-up for the Feast of San Dimas 2010 is: Saints v. Falcons. Go Saints! (It's mandatory.)

For a longer explanation of how you can celebrate these days go here.1

And just to put it all in one place, go here for the full run-down of what Kwahanzaakahmas is all about.

Have a bitchin' Kwahanzaakahmas and be excellent to one another!

1 - Though, really, as long as you're spending time feasting with friends and family in an atmosphere of bonhomie as they say, it's all good.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

New Page Added!

You may or may not have noticed that I've added a new page to O'Keefe's Briefs. It's right there up top next to Store. Go ahead and click it to find out what I'm working on. Also, I'll just tell you here. I am currently working on a short story collection. The stories are all connected by their location, think Winesburg, OH. Each will explore a different sub-genre of Supernatural Horror/Fantasy.

What you'll find a the above link is a brief paragraph of narration and a link to the Blog of David Greenberg. This will be a real-time fiction event. Every few days, few weeks, whenever, I'll post another entry in David's blog.

This is the Gothic piece of the puzzle, and what I hope will be the anchor for the collection.

Enjoy and please give me feedback.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Ponderous Notions Touching Upon A Year of O'Keefe's Briefs

When I began writing O'Keefe's Briefs last year, I was fully aware that the blog was a form of publication (for lack of a better word) that was already dead. Blogs are no longer meaningful. I blog, you blog, that guy over there has three blogs. Blog blog bloggity blog blog. Blog.

Yet I persist, and one might wonder why.1 I even went as far as to call blogging masturbatory!2 Then there is the fact that while taking the time to point out that blogs are no longer relevant, I continue to blog (even as we speak!), and this may be construed as hypocritical by some. My Twitter feed to the right is another example of hypocrisy3 on my part. It would appear that my hypocrisy knows no bounds!

I continue to wonder what a blog is, in general, and what O'Keefe's Briefs is, specifically. I'm sure there are plenty of people who log on, bang out a post, and go on with their lives as if it were all just a sweet electronic dream. Perhaps I'm overthinking it, but I like to know what it is I'm doing (and hopefully why). I don't, after all, want to waste my time, and to a lesser extent waste yours.

Recently, I was reading a blog from the New York Times website, and it occurred to me that what I was reading was not, in fact, a blog at all, but a feature article. A fine piece of Op-Ed journalism. It begs the question then, what the hell is a blog? What does that mean anymore, if anything (and further, if it ever meant anything at all in the first place).

I write scatological, satirical, and hopefully, humorous essays, but does that really constitute a web log? This is not my personal journal per se. Often, I have deliberately avoided using the first person in any type of non-fictive sense. So is O'Keefe's Briefs actually a web zine? Sure, I put some work into the design of the site as any publisher should, and is not a blog essentially a self-published periodical after all? I tweaked the template here and there, got my brother to design a handsome logo to stick up top, and went through the trouble of matching the color schemes. What is the point other than branding? At least I now have something to sell other than myself.

I began this project with a post exploring what O'Keefe's Briefs would be. What form it would take. Over the last year, I've certainly refined some of my ideas and developed a few recurring features: Top Ten lists, NeoLogs, and more recently photoshops. We can all look forward to more of the same to come, and hopefully some further refinements.

With an O'Keefeling on the way, I am a bit worried that this will slowly morph into a parenting blog (what not to do). On the other hand, babies make a lot of poop, and poop is funny. So I guess we'll see. There must be middle ground somewhere.

So, again, no matter what brought you here, I hope you've enjoyed reading some of this nonsense as much as I have enjoyed creating it.

Looking forward to another year,4


Coming Soon: The 2010 Kwahanzaakahmas Calendar

1 - Uh-oh. Here I go navel-gazing again. You can probably skip down a paragraph or two, but then you might miss all of the sex and violence. It's up to you, really. Hey! Where did all that blue lint come from? I don't remember being in the dryer.
2 - See, I told you there's be sex if you just stuck with it. Probably not what you were looking for, but now that I think about it, I do like masturbating. A lot. On the bright side, my optometrist's kids can go to private school.
3 - In Defense of Hypocrisy: With the mid-term elections recently passed, and the varying ideologies still battling for supremacy, which sounds far more interesting and epic than it is, there tends to be a lot of name calling. A recent favorite in political circles is flip-flopping. Assuming they mean changing one's mind rather than loudly sauntering about in beachy footwear, I am finding it difficult to understand how this is necessarily a bad thing. Is it an insinuation that the object of the name-calling is lying? Or merely inconstant? Can it not also be an indication of humility? A willingness to weigh new or previously unknown factors to arrive at a new more well-informed opinion? I would rather support someone who is using all available data to constantly refine his or her viewpoint than someone that has it all figured out already. I find that suspect. Even the Pope admitted, eventually, that Galileo was correct.
4 - Some of you more mathematically inclined nit-pickers may notice that it has actually been fifteen months, not just one year. To this I say: Phooey! Count yourself lucky if I don't write another blog like this for another fifteen months.