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The views and opinions expressed in O'Keefe's Briefs(tm) are not necessarily those of The Management. In fact, they are very likely not even the views and opinions of the writer, the typeface designer, god or the President of the United States. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who shares the extraordinary worldview expressed below, and should you, run. Far and fast. The Management would also like to point out that any references or similarities to any persons living, dead, or undead are entirely coincidental since we all know there are no such things as zombies anyhow.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

2013 Kwahanzaakahmas Calendar

It's beginning to smell a lot like Kwahanzaakahmas...

Fine! The carols need work. What's Kwahanzaakahmas you ask? Lay your world-weary eyes on this fine bit of lore: HERE, and then go HERE to learn about each day's activities. (tl;dr: drink and eat lots because it's cold outside. We also have platypodes.)

Friday, December 20: Twenny

Saturday, December 21:  Yule 

Sunday, December 22: Feast of the San Dimas
(Saints @ Panthers 1:00pm ET)

Monday, December 23: Festivus

Tuesday, December 24: Christmas Eve

Wednesday, December 25: Christmas Day

Thursday, December 26: Boxing Day

Friday, December 27:  Feast of the Immaculate Concession

Saturday, December 28: Langeaufwiedersehenssagennacht

Sunday, December 29: Ante Penultima Nocta

Monday, December 30: Hogmanay Eve

Tuesday, December 31: New Year's Eve

I'm open to suggestions as to how to work Krampus into our traditions. "Augh! I ate too much! Now I have a Krampus!" On one hand, a beastman snatching small, naughty children in the night is pretty much diametrically opposed to the spirit of Kwahanzaakahmas; however, on the other hand it's pretty bad ass. Also, every good holiday tradition needs it's dramatic foil: the abominable snowman, the winter warlock, fruitcake.

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I promise I'll be better about posting this year. Probably