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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Hey, There's Food in the Conference Room

Conan, what is best in life?


Man, there is nothing better than free second-lunch. Especially around 3:30 in the afternoon. Wait. Is that pesto on this sandwich? Yes. Not bad for meeting leftovers, I must say. Oooh and Ruffles potato chips. Nice touch catering. Nice touch indeed. Odd that no one touched the salad. Why is that? Do people feel that since they are getting free food, then they should go all out? Like: Hey, screw eating healthily, this is FREE FOOD.

What is this? The depression?

Listen, I'll be the first to admit I have atrocious eating habits1. And wasteful? Yup, that too. I throw all sorts of food out simply because I don't want it.  I know. I'm a complicated individual. Also that whole "kids starving in Africa or Japan or wherever-that's-not-here" enticement never really held weight for me. You know, I just don't see how my overeating is going to alleviate their hunger. "Oh, no more rice for me, mama; some American kid is doing his damnedest to acquire Type II Diabetes. Thank you, you fat bastard. Thank you." Do I want you to send them my leftovers? I mean, you can if you want. I don't think that's going to help either. Aside from being a waste of money, the food will probably be inedible by the time it arrives.

Just sayin'.

1 - I believe that the cuter the animal the tastier it is. One of my great regrets in life is not trying guinea pig while I was in Peru. Does that make me a horrible person? Wrong question, since I don't care.

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